July 12, 2023

Two Reactions

“Then the Jews who were with her in the house, and consoling her, when they saw that Mary got up quickly and went out, they followed her, supposing that she was going to the tomb to weep there. Therefore, when Mary came where Jesus was, she saw Him, and fell at His feet, saying to Him, ‘Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.’”  John 11:31-32 (NASB)

            I wonder why I have a desire to go each week to visit my daughter in the cemetery. To me it is still important. Sara graduated to heaven on January 15, 2018. After Sara’s death, I decided I would go each week to visit and to take care of her plot. Each time I visit her, it is a way in my mind to be as close to her as I can. I know her soul and spirit have departed from this earth, but something within me still desires to be close; at least as close as I can. It may be strange to some, but it is important to me. I just want to be near her. When Mary took off to meet Jesus, the Jews thought the same thing. They thought she went to the grave site to visit Lazarus.

            “…when they saw that Mary got up quickly and went out, they followed her, supposing that she was going to the tomb to weep there.” When Mary learned Jesus had called for her, “she got up quickly and was coming to Him. Now Jesus had not yet come into the village, but was still in the place where Martha met Him,” (verse 30). Perhaps Jesus wanted to speak to both women before entering the city. Whatever the case, Jesus had perfect reasoning for calling for both prior to arriving. When Mary quickly left, the Jews who were with her thought she wanted to go to the grave. Borchert says, “Mary’s hasty departure was noted by the mourners, who considered it their duty to follow her and support her in her mourning, presumably at the tomb (11:31).”[1] “It was a custom much practiced among the Jews and Greeks, to sit down and mourn by the graves of their dead (Wetstein, on this passage; Geier, De luctu Hebr.).”[2] When Mary arrived to meet Jesus, “she saw Him, and fell at His feet, saying to Him, ‘Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.”  The statement by Mary to Jesus would be the same statement brought by Martha in verse 21, “If You had been here…” This statement was the same, but the similarity ends there. “The emphasis on weeping in the Mary story contrasts vividly with the word exchanges of the Martha story. The pathos here is immediately heightened when after having encountered Jesus, Mary fell at his feet before uttering her helpless cry, “if …” Obviously, Mary expressed her loss differently from Martha. Mary’s tears have in fact taken the place of most of Martha’s words.”[3]

            Loss affects each one of us in the world today. Some of us process it differently than others. Some never get over it. Some learn to create a new normal without the person. Each week I visit, I don’t break down and cry. Sometimes I do. As time goes on, I have learned to remember Sara in my most positive memories. These memories help me in my grieving process. They also bring a smile to my face as I cope with loss. It helps me to honor her memory of who she is to me. It never goes away, but the Lord strengthens me as I learn to cope with loss. Jesus is about to comfort both women with a miracle which will blow their doors off.  If you have lost someone and still suffer, keep this in mind; you are never alone. Jesus is there.  

[1] Borchert, G. L. (1996). John 1–11 (Vol. 25A, p. 358). Broadman & Holman Publishers.

[2] Lange, J. P., & Schaff, P. (2008). A commentary on the Holy Scriptures: John (p. 352). Logos Bible Software.

[3] Ibid.